to the men in our life

sometimes people seem worried that when we talk about people that have passed away, that it is a sad thing or serious thing. i often don't talk about dad because it makes others sad or uncomfortable but i think that is nonsense! it makes me happy to remember him, and keep him a part of who i am.

happy father's day dad. i look at pictures, and feel like i am trying to get to know you better. i wish i could remember every moment i had with you growing up and sometimes i think that i ought to have more memories of our 16 years. (is my memory bad already? i'm not even 30!)

i remember you getting up early every day
i remember that you were the designated tooth puller for the WHOLE neighborhood
i remember you going running
i remember the first time i ran with you and barely made it to the joshua tree apts.
i remember the first time i ran 2 miles without stopping and you telling me i had just made my own pb (personal best)
i remember you giving sour gummy worms to the scouts.
i remember me stealing them from your nightstand
i remember that you couldn't play the piano much, but you could tell me from the other room when i hit a sharp or flat note
i remember years upon years of NPR
and that i was the only kid in my 5th grade class that knew it stood for national public radio
i remember you making fish faces
and how you would twist your mouth and make crazy talking fish faces
i remember how much you loved mom
and how you would torment and embarrass her trying to kiss her in public
i remember how you let me pierce my ears, years before our family approved age, and while mom was out of town
and how it was your idea
i remember how you always wanted to make sure we knew you had a testimony of Jesus Christ.
i remember that you love me, and sometimes i was too stubborn to receive it, but i get it now.

mostly because i don't get the chance to get to know you anymore right now, i get to take everything i know about you and make it a part of who i am.

and i have been very blessed to marry into having another pretty darn good father.

i get to know him more and more as i watch bobby. when i see his work ethic, i see his dad in him. when he is the first one to volunteer to help other people, i remember the stories he has told me of his dad bringing him along to fix peoples houses. i love that he can call you and learn from your years of experience in every call. i see that you always encourage him to be the best person he can be. you taught him how to make yummy wheat pancakes, and homemade egg nog.

and i'm excited to get to know you better.

happy father's day Dad, and Dad!