Monday, February 15, 2010

touching my toes...

anyone feel like you really know something about yourself, but when you admit it out loud, it feels like you are figuring it out for the first time?

this morning i had myself a flustered/snappy moment. bobby is better with those than i. he just looks at me patiently- probably in utter confusion of why i went from normal to freaked in .2 seconds...

he walks outside to get something from the cellar and when he walks back in, i blurt out, "i'm not flexible! you know i'm not flexible bobby!"

we are not talking yoga here people. though i guess i might as well admit that as well.

harsh, but true. very true. even if i don't use a planner-per se- my brain maps out my day, what i want to do, what i expect to do. then my week, and so-on. sometimes i know what i want to wear or eat on a certain day down the road... am i freaking you out yet? because admitting it is a slightly harsh reality for me...

so- i don't really plan everything- much of my life goes very unorganized- but when i tab something in my head, so let it be written, so let it be done.

problem is, when such a plan doesn't come to fruition, or people change plans, flake, add stuff to my plate, i feel like my world got rocked. don't get me wrong. this happens often. still not used to it.

this reality does not bode well with the impending motherhood concept. pretty sure little bebes and their life, aren't really a planner's paradise.

preparing for my whole world to get rocked upside down. bring it on baby bobby. this is me welcoming you to rock my world!

sidenote: did i mention that i was talking to the doc about natural childbirth, and he recommended that with all the classes and techniques out there, he just wanted me to find whatever would help me relax. he said, "then it will work for you." i told that to bobby and he said, "guess you are getting an epidural then, because you don't know how to relax."

not really sure when or how i got like this.
but- yep. it's true.
insights? anyone?


debby said...

i was/still am like this. definitely a planner. and then you have kids and you plan what you can and then let the rest go. i like to just think that i planned that things might change.

i did that with diane coming. i just planned that i would have madeleine watching a ridiculous amount of movies. and then, when it happened, i was okay with it. you just learn to plan differently. plan for change.

and you can still pick out your outfits and meals. because planning things that you can be in control of will help you maintain your sanity.

Frankman's said...

i love this post! you totally crack me up and I couldn't agree more with you! you are such a witty writer - this post made my day! :-)

no, i have no profound advice to offer, just applause for a well voiced post.

Annalisa said...

not flexible...i feel like i should welcome you to the club. tried painting my toes this morning; i did it, but it took some creative manuevering to get my feet up close enough to paint without hurting the belly.

as for relaxing...i agree with your doc. you need to find something that help you take your mind off of what is happening at the moment. for me it was counting numbers with the count on seseame street and geoff saying 'breathe slow' and giving me math problems to solve and yet there is something miraculous about the epidural experience. i went as far as i could with pain and pain management and reward was epidural, heavenly!!!

this one, i'm debating going natural & painkiller free...however, Sunday I had a crazy painful braxton hicks contraction in the middle of our primary class, i grabbed Geoff's shoulder and said "i gotta go" and walked out because i wanted to run from the pain. i wanted to get far far away from the pain. poor guy, i freaked him out because he didn't know if it was something serious or if i needed real help. i cried a bit in the foyer and went back into the room and said sorry and that i was fine. i'm a wimp, i'll probably be getting an epidural and that's okay. at that moment i didn't handle the pain well, i'm getting better though.

i embrace modern medicine and the talents of others to give me a virually painfree experience! no worries...if you want to go natural, i'm sure you have something that keeps you grounded, calm, and focused on the task at hand?

p.s. the key to an enoyable hospital stay is to say "thank you" to the nurses and staff...all the time. it makes a world of difference in care.

Annalisa said...


The Meesh said...

Ha! Meggy... it's good of you to finally see and admit this. It also helps those of us in your life understand you better and try not to rock your world. :)

And no. I have no advice for you and childbirth. {shudder}

jeanie said...

Megan, I am a planner also, and you just need to plan on everything taking 10 times longer than you are used to when baby gets here, but don't worry it gets better...
oh and I recommend the epidural :) - but PURELY up to you of course! Prepare for natural, but know what pain meds are available just in case, you never know what is going to happen and you need all the info you can get.
and when in labor - walking around the hospital helps immensely, have Bob on hand to hang onto through contractions and then keep walking, it is distracting and moves labor along...